pondering...
meditating.....
(which literally means chewing on the cud - like a cow thoughtfully chews her grass - as if contemplating what eating the grass means)
contemplating....
what is God's purpose for my life
what things can I purge out of my life
what is unnecessary in my journey....
what is weighing down my travel pack
what unnecessary burdens do I have stowed away
what hinders my journey as a soujourner
a foreigner
an alien in this world
my Creator guides me from within
if only I will look
what keeps me from the wisdom he can give
fear...
doubt....
rebellion.....
alas,
it is my fallen human nature
oh how I have tried...
tried...
to align myself with Providence
oh what a wretched man I am
a gift given
taken for granted
do I spit on the Cross of Christ
NO
submit to Him I must
or die
death is the answer
die to self I must...
live for Him
I will no longer keep
my heart from Him...
afraid to let him handle
but allow Him
to break it
and let the Healer be
who He is
so my heart He
can mend
----------------------
I quote:
Why? Why are you still here with me?
Didn’t you see what I’ve done?
In my shame I want to run,
And hide myself.
Yeah, but it’s here I see the truth,
I don’t deserve you.
But I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me.
I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing you away from me.
I just never saw how you
Could cherish me.
Cause you’re a God who has all things,
And still you want me.
And I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
Yeah, ye-ea-eah
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Your love makes me see who I really am.
Your love makes me forget what I have been, oh-oh.
And I need you to love me, yeah
I need you to love me, ye-ea-eah!
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me, yeahI need you to…
oh oh oh oh eo
Love me, love me, yah
~Barlowgirl
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