God has had me in an area of deep searching myself for some time now. Rethinking everything about my life with Him. Now, I'm not talking about rethinking my theology, as in salvation; grace; Jesus' Divinity; heaven and hell; rather I'm saved or not or anything like that.
I've been thinking about stuff like am I serving Him whole-heartedly. Am I doing enough of the things I should be doing for Him. Am I being a good enough husband, father, friend, example, mentor, est. Are my ministries for Him really His are are they of my own making.
This weekend was a culmination of all these things. God has been having me question everything I am doing. And He has been filling me with all this data - God data - downloading it into my spirit and soul. He's been asking me questions through His Word, directly via my thoughts, through my pastor Robby Rhoden, Don Coleman, Mike MacIntosh, My wife and movies.
He's been tearing down and building things in me simultaneously. He's clearing out the old and constructing the new.
This weekend Pastor Don Coleman spoke and rapped up a three week series that Pastor Rob started. Don spoke passionately about being a passionate worshiper. It crushed me. In a good way. It put a nail in the coffin off my dead ways that are still hanging around. It made me realize what I had already realized, but it brought it home.
I couldn't just say any more, that I gotta be better at so and so, do this do that, change this other thing, because it will make me better and more effective in my life with friends, family and ministry.
This weekend meant, I must do these things. I must be a passionate worshipper in everything I do.
But, there is a problem in all this?
I can't do it! I'm a slacker by nature. I don't have the power.
But I can decide to kill the flesh, the human nature, by deciding to do what God wants of me.
He wants me to obey Him, because what He wants me to do is good for me anyways. He made me, so He knows how I tick.
But there is a problem in killing this human nature. It is I have no power to carry it out.
What's the answer?
The Answer is:
if I decide to follow His will, then He will give me the power to carry it out.
It is the Lenten Season - a forty day period leading up to Easter. The season of giving up what's holding you back, so you can fully give yourself to God. This the perfect time at which I can now focus on the task of deciding to fully devote myself to whole-heartedly giving myself to Him. Being a Passioate Worshiper giving myself to Him.