Thursday, December 07, 2006

Life is a grand or life is a bitch - which is it?

Just when you think things are going great, then they go terribly wrong. Then just when you think things couldn't get worse, they get better! Then God takes the good and makes it great and unbelievable. He blesses you in marvelous ways.

(If you think you are having a rough time click the title above.)

Lately life has been bitter-sweet. Let me explain:

God is great. My wife is great. My kids are great. My ministry is great. Life is great. Everything is great! God is blessing me beyond my wildest dreams!

I'm Joyful, Happy and enjoying life. But, I've been having one of the roughest periods I can remember at the same time. Hence Bitter-Sweet.

Something is missing? What could it be?

I've been looking at myself, and I'm not happy with what I see. There are serious character flaws and practices that I want changed. Some are under my control and some are not, but even the ones that only God can change, I can pray and work with Him on the change. Also, I've been looking at things in my life that are under my control, and I'm not happy with how they are.

Just to let you know, I'm not beating myself up or being negative. I'm just honestly observing and pondering as God says to do in the Bible. I don't like some of what I see, and it is painful and bitter.

I know what the problem is, and I've known it for some time.

The answer is:

True Intimacy with God. That's whats missing.

But, I don't implement it. Why? Its fearful Insanity! Knowing the answer and being to scared to do it, because its unfamiliar. Opening your soul naked before the Lord is a scary thing. I'm also, so busy with doing life, family and ministry, that I don't spend the intimate time alone with God.
Sometimes we busy ourselves, over extend ourselves, so we don't have to deal with the fearful unknown - like exposing ourselves fully to God.

I can't remember the last time I sat down and just Privately undevotedly sat and communed in His Presence or read His Word. I'm going on yesterday's revelation and power. Yes, I'm able to function in a spiritual fashion and minister to folks (and really help them). But, its based on stored up knowledge and power.

It's like taking a test that you studied for 1o years ago. You retain quite a bit, and you might do really well with a 'B' or 'C' or at least pass the test with a 'C' or 'D'. But if you had been continually studying all along, and studied that day as well, then you would have gotten an 'A'-plus.

In other words, the outcomes of things in my life would be better. When I helped people my help would have more power and be more effective in their lives. But the most important thing would be that my relationship with God would be excellent.

Pray for me, though I feel this is quite common among believers - if they're honest. That is if they are even trying to really expose all of themselves to god. But I have a feeling most are not. Once apon a time I was not.

If you think you are having a bad day click the title above.

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